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    12/04/2008

    好像应该说说话

            从小佳姐姐婚宴上回来,感叹时间的飞快。新郎在致辞感谢父母的时候突然哽咽,于是我觉得他是个善良而能够托付终生的男子。同学们坐了一桌,也有一家三口一起前来的,突然感觉时空恍惚起来。想起很多小时候跟着父母前往的婚礼,不喝桔子水,学着大人可以喝一杯啤酒,然后和一群小朋友疯玩,还会跑去叔叔阿姨的洞房找红蛋。那是很模糊的记忆,有时候不知道是因为有那些相片,还是父母的叙述,还是真的自己记得,可能兼而有之。而即便那么多年过去,我依然会觉得自己还是个孩子,依然会跟着父母前往宴席,而去往外地的时候,还是会有二叔和aiu哥哥照顾着,就好像那天aiu哥哥说,你还是个小屁孩子呢。可是,当我坐在我的同学中间,坐在他们的孩子中间,我突然惶恐地觉得我已经应该成为当年我父母的角色,我突然茫然起来。
     
            周一从江西回来,南昌的清晨,下雨,是不喜欢的城市,仅仅路过,酒店的接待、出租车司机、机场工作人员,除了那个吃了两片面包鸡蛋火腿加一杯咖啡花了120的餐厅小姐,其他人都是生硬的,甚至带有欺骗的。是第二次去往抚州,去范国刚买下的山头,阳光真好,杜鹃盛开,他们的小女儿欢快地跑,我坐在山顶屋前的小板凳上,眯着眼睛,在开始炙热的阳光里静静地听小鸟啼鸣,满目绿色,不远处的高速公路上偶尔飞驰而过的汽车是唯一破坏这处静谧的原由。二叔说,带个无线上网的笔记本上来住住多好。我说,既然来了,何必再带笔记本?
     
             二叔小小的店堂里有些与众不同的装饰,这是地域间的差异。那个在抚州的二叔不是那个在上海的二叔。他送我去南昌的时候,我们坐在广场上,我问他是不是我们都变了。夜里他回到抚州给我来电话说,没有,我们并未有所改变,只是在这里,我们必须符合这里的现实。
     
            忘记车上的是哪首歌再唱逃离,我说我逃离上海,逃来江西。你也是吗?可是你能一辈子逃离?也许其实我们从来就没法逃离,还是不断有电话找你,无论你在哪里,很多事情它们一直跟着你。可是至少有那么一个清晨,在到达的第一个清晨,等着酒店check in ,在隔壁的肯德基喝了一杯咖啡,吃了一个蛋挞。有些悲哀的是一个中国人在中国大陆需要到一家美国快餐店来找到信任与归属感。那时候看着窗外下雨,蓦地发现雨大的时候,打在地上溅起时像一朵盛开的花,雨小的时候,打在地上,仅仅是一圈波纹慢慢晕开。然后我笑了,我不知道应该高兴还是应该悲伤。把纸杯和纸盒扔进垃圾箱,推门,走在雨里,没有伞,走回酒店。
     
           和前台小姐说,我没有看到逃生路线,请告诉我最近的楼梯在哪里。小姐笑了,说你问什么。我说就是发生紧急情况逃离的路线。她说,我们这里很安全,不会有事情的。电梯在你×××方位。我笑了,说我没说不安全,可是我只是想知道楼梯在哪里,逃生的时候不能坐电梯。他们说这是这个城市最好的酒店,有很大的客房,液晶的电视,明亮的卫生间,和免费的国内长途。其实真的不错,价格也很便宜,我们总是应该给发展以耐心与信心,当我看着这个小小城市里新建的大卖场里有穿着素朴老式服装的农村老妇人走进走出的时候,其实还是心生欢喜的。
     
           燕燕于飞,之子于归,笙罄同音,琴瑟和谐,花开并蒂,永结同心。是写给小佳的祝福,祝福她吧。婚宴上有我喜欢的歌曲,一直不知道它的名字,卓子说它的名字是God is a girl 

    remembering me,
    discover and see
    all over the world,
    she's known as a girl
    to those who are free,
    the mind shall be key
    forgotten as the past
    'cause history will last

    god is a girl,
    wherever you are,
    do you believe it, can you recieve it?
    god is a girl,
    whatever you say,
    do you believe it, can you recieve it?
    god is a girl,
    however you live,
    do you believe it, can you recieve it?
    god is a girl,
    she's only a girl,
    do you believe it, can you recieve it?

    she wants to shine,
    forever in time,
    she is so driven, she's always mine
    cleanly and free,
    she wants you to be
    a part of the future,
    a girl like me
    there is a sky,
    illuminating us, someone is out there
    that we truly trust
    there is a rainbow for you and me
    a beautiful sunrise eternally

     
     

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    Sine Shanwrote:
    亲爱的,你生啦?
    Apr. 14
    Isabella Sunwrote:
    心.喜.欢.生。
    Apr. 14

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